Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide,
No escape from reality.
Open your eyes, Look up to the skies and see,
I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy,
Because I'm easy come, easy go, Little high, little low,
Any way the wind blows doesn't really matter to me, to me.
From: "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen
WHY DO MASTERS YELL AND SHOUT
How do you feel when a Master shouts at you?
Do you submit easier when a Master shouts at you?
What is your reaction when a Master does that to you?
I normally have a problem when people constantly shout in my presence whether it is directed to me or not. Why do people constantly shout at others:
1. Is it a control attempt? : You might think that controlling people use obvious ways to control others but in fact the more inexperienced Master can sometimes only use methods such as shouting at you in a attempt to control you.
2. Is it an attempt to make you ashamed?: Some Masters can trigger different emotions in slaves in order to control them. Some shout at slaves to make them feel ashamed so that they can control them. In other words making you experience an unwanted emotion is one of the easiest methods to control you
3. Did you exceed the limit?: Some shout when they lose control over their own emotions. Each person has a certain level of tolerance and once you do something beyond what a person can tolerate he might burst in anger and shout at you.
HOW TO DEAL WITH PEOPLE WHO SHOUT AT YOU
So how can you deal with a person who shouts at you?
1. First you need to understand the reason he is shouting at you so that you can act accordingly. If a Master shouts at you for example then there is a big possibility that he is doing it because he wants you to react in your own interest. In such case you might just want to learn how to control your own anger and walk away.
2. If a friend shouted at you then you must assertively reply saying that you don't like someone to talk to you that way. If he did it again then you might want to stop talking to him for a day or two to show him how pissed off you got.
In all cases you need to make it clear in an assertive way that this is not acceptable and that you are totally ready to completely avoid the person who does so.
CONTROL YOUR OWN ANGER
Don't keep blaming a person for shouting at you then burst in anger as well when he does so. Of course it too annoying when someone shouts at you but this doesn't mean that shouting back is the solution.
Instead you need to control your anger so that your own assertive reply doesn't appear aggressive. When you reply to someone assertively you actually leave him no room to blame you and so he finds no other thing but to admit that he has made a mistake.
Assertiveness lies between submissiveness and aggression. The assertive response is tough enough to show a person that you are pissed off but its not aggressive enough to make him angrier.
I still have to learn how to be assertive without being disrespectful towards a Master and how to use this skill whenever a Master shouts at me.